The Red Chapter


Dear Red,

I think red is a representative of all sorts of conflicting emotions. I like to believe that I have had a journey of vortexes and collapsing roller coasters and that I just want to point out two things.

One. I did not have an easy life in my early childhood. It was unhappy and I often feel very sad when I see others who go through a similar path involuntarily. We don’t get to choose how to live our lives, what to be, who to be, how to be, when we were young; We were brought up by our caretakers, we were directed, given and instructed. But we mature to become ourselves, to be able to script and write our own chapters.

Two. I am sure that there will be many others who have had a journey filled with much worst experiences and therefore I am not saying I have had it the worst. But within my conscious mind, I have had it bad.


A social downfall is on its way.

Just today, there was a kid who was birthed by a 16 year old mother with an unidentified father, both of them whose whereabout are not known. The mum dumped her kid to his grandmother who is currently 70 of age. Being so old, restless and working, the grandmother sent this child to another guy who is currently the primary caretaker.  Let me highlight a few points to make it very clear:

  1. A child, just only 8 years old.
  2. Young and alone, with no maternal warmth since birth and no paternal figure to take after.
  3. From one stranger to another stranger, tossed here and there like a basketball.

Can you already imagine the devastating psychological-social implications it could have on the child?

Yet despite his difficulties, this child has good grades, scored number one in his cohort, twice in a row. He sat right in front of me, who appeared to be calm yet sad, I feel, and seemed lonely and desperate for security. Hearing the story from the caretaker, was really upsetting and gave me a thought that if I had gone through what he had, I don’t think I would have survived. 

Just imagine it, being alone for so many years, that kind of despair and having to grow up in an environment filled with insecurities, doubts and conflicting love and emotions, it makes me wonder of my purpose in life, of my existence from the very beginning. But of course he is a child and he wouldn’t be able to think this much. But because we are adults and we have that capability to think far beyond what these helpless kids can, shouldn’t we be better people? Shouldn’t we be the people our children want and need us to be. A social downfall is on its way, unless we realise it and we prevent it.


The dangerous part is not realising that our actions, our emotions and our expressions can have an effect on people. That’s dangerous. If you don’t realise what you do can have an opposing effect, then you really need to start thinking. Life can be so frail and fragile, so obscured that we don’t realise the intricate details of our complex psycho-social-emotional expression and actions that can impact everyone and anyone around us.

Imagine if this kid had a healthy family. He was never dumped. He was never given away. He was never tossed from one person to another.

Imagine that he had a mother who breastfed him, who cared for him, who loved him, who gave him everything he wanted.

Imagine that he had a father who protected him, who showed him kindness and love, who held his hand and walked with him when he was down or upset.

Imagine that.

Imagine that a child who could have it all, simply did not.

He had good grades. He could possibly be an amazing person in the future. But his complex social interplay could prevent him from reaching his potential.


“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was indeed very provoked by our social downfall. Why? Why do we need to allow an avenue like this to exist? Why should there be an avenue like this? Does it need to exist? Do we need to allow this to exist? We are humans in our own rights, we have set the law, the rules, and we simply need to regulate them. Yet, we don’t. Yet, things happen, and here we are. Here I am writing this, with a lot of emotions.

I come back to asking myself, why do I need to feel this way? What is it with the society that angers me so much?


There isn’t an answer for this. The people who are supposed to do their job, simply isn’t.

Is it the ministry? The lawmakers? The social welfare department? The police?

No, the responsibility should not simply fall on them, it should be that our mentality, has reached an era where it is time to change. We are no longer living in an era of slavery and abuse where men champion in that field and in an era where women are not allowed to voice their opinions or create policies for the government. That era has long ceased to exist, yet amongst us are that few people living in that era.

Men move forward, women move forward. We all need to leave that backdated mindset and start thinking of what the world needs, what our children needs. Justice changes with time as with what norm considers as normal. What was the norm 50 years ago cannot simply be what is the norm today. Similarly, our laws have got to change. The mindset has got to change too. We have to advance as we move forward.

We should be able to think better, today. Especially today. What our fathers and mothers could not, we should be better people, better role models and better leaders to our children.


No cheers.


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